Friday, 12 December 2008

Rules of Engagement

Diplomacy is not for us...

Kulmid had been leading a small battlegroup out on a low sec roam. I was busy administering the corp with the help of Proph as some much delayed business required our attention.

Kulmid's gang had barely jumped the Todifrauan gate when an opposing blue gang landed in unision. The Bastards had a few trialists with them on the op and as per such, were not blue to Mean Coalition. The FC of their fleet whose intellect stretches as far as cracking two stones together in a rythmic fashion begins to open fire upon a friendly Rapier.

It had not crossed his mind that the Rapier may be affliated, being it sat calmly upon a gate, surrouned by Battleships armed to the teeth.

"Stop firing at the Rapier, you retard!" Kulmid so eloquently placed in local.

"Why should I?" The caveman responded

"Because I said stop firing!"

"Why did you call him a Retard?" A Mean lacky responded

"Because he is, I mean look at him" yet another diplomatic response from Kulmid.

As an excuse to reset standings, this was a pretty shallow one. Nonetheless, with the cool headed dogzbody at the helm, Mean Coalition were happy to oblige by his somewhat clouded orders and opened fire upon our fleet once again. Euan8's MANBrutix an unfortunate victim. (Yes ladies and gents, not some pussy shield rigged Brutix thing that Mr. Frog likes to call a MANBrutix, a full on Mag Stab tanked damage whore and quite obviously the only way to fly the ship.)

Ard promptly took the decision to reset standings, giving us little choice but to set them red.

One Epic Day...

So there we are, 5 of us on a roam in RR Battleships into 0.0. After a quiet trip back to Intrepid Crossing, we decided to head back out through AD- to find some targets. A friendly covert hauler alt scouted for us to avoid suspicion.

"Kronos on scan, looks to be towards a POS. Going to check it out"

The scout arrived to find all of the POS mods offline and many unanchored. The Kronos sat inside the field, watching over the deconstruction. Utilising the subtle changes made to the Viator, our scout piloted close to a faction web battery, uncloaked and ninja'd off with an easy 30million ISK.

The Kronos became rather pissy with this and proceeded out of the field. We sprung a trap but alas, he managed to get back inside the field prior to any lasting damage being applied.

Several minutes went by before the Kronos began to move towards the edge of the field. Suddenly, he emerged and opened fire. Naturally, we returned the favour as local began to fill with his buddies. Our 2 Geddons and 2 Dominix had been totally underestimated and rapidly stripped the Tech 2 Battleship of armour and hull. Most certainly 1-0 to us.

The enemy fleet landed at the POS and a Sabre immediately bubbled us. Kulmid sighed knowing he would be off to Jita to buy more Slaves in the near future.

The enemy fleet was heavy with ECM. We fought through it to kill off a Thorax and an Armageddon before the Geddon's popped. Lex and z0de then pulled off some borderline ridiculous maneuvers to escape the bubble, ECM drone the scrambling ships and escape.

We lol'd heavily at their failure. Especially the loss of a 5 Billion ISK Kronos, the Geddon and the Rax. In return, two mighty Geddons fell for us.

Happy with the engagement we were, content with the outcomes we were not. Clones were updated, Euan joined in the fun as Lex departed and two more Geddons set off for Warp To Desktop space.

Take Two...

We landed on the Eurgrana gate. z0de was engaged the other side by a hefty sized gang. Naturally, Kulmid, Euan and I jumped in bringing the fleet back up to 2 Geddons and 2 Dominix

First on the list was a Zealot, attempting to lay down some thick damage but got on the wrong end of 14 Mega Pulse Laser II's spewing Amarr Navy Purple at him. Euan and z0de furiously fired off the remote reps on Kulmid who had been primaried. His armour teetering at 25%.

The WTD Falcon warped in at 40km. Kulmid and I had prepared for it this time, both fielding two active ECCM mods. We overloaded both of them and proceeded to lock up the Falcon. Once again, Amarr Navy Purple judged the unworthy.

A Rapier then decided to spar with my Geddon as I slowboated to the gate. Under fire from sentries we now were (did that sound too much like Yoda?!). The Rapier was obviously oblvious to the judgement that is Amarr Navy Purple and proceeded to follow his Falcon and Zealot buddy down shit creek.

Meanwhile, Kulmid had started to beat on an Absolution which was laying on the DPS thick and hard. Expecting a heavy buffer tank we were, but alas a juicy dual rep tank was not going to save his expensive ship from kicking the bucket.

The Zealot pilot returned in the counterpart Amarr Heavy Assault Ship. Again, the intellectual genes were not on show. He expected to be able to tank the two Geddons and two Dominix with ease. How wrong he was. With the blink of an eye, Multifreaky was loaded.

Kulmid exclaimed "He's tanking pretty wait, oh, there he goes LOL"

Another one bites the dust.

A few more little ships were violenced towards the end of the engagement too. The Manticore especially funny as we relied on a perfect wrecking hit to kill him as he was out of falloff range. Naturally Eve obliged by providing Kulmid with two in a row and end its life rapidly.

By now, some of the WTD members had lost 2 to 3 different ships. A couple decided to roll out a pair of Thanatos. The fighter swarm was too much for Kulmid's Geddon. A quite hilarious engagement to look at. Grats to all involved. Other than one WTD tard who may have only just hit puberty, the conversation in local was cordial and fun afterwards.

Take Three...
The biggest RR gang the Bastards have ever formed embarked on a roam towards our new enemies, Mean Coalition.

After some initial sparring, Mean went back to Katugurmur to aid the fight with a couple of Carriers. Nonetheless, we didnt let this put us off. The RR's worked furiously to keep us alive as we ate through Astarte after Astarte....after Astarte. Cap ran low between the fleet and ironically Jed was primaried. 171k damage was tanked but alas, my poor Geddon finally gave in.

Jed went back to fetch the Vodka Shark as it seemed we could get lucky.

The guys had been racking up more kills while I was gone. Hilariously, the 'Village Idiot' general dogzbody sat 177km away in his Tempest, doing absolutely nothing but also not wishing to get his ship even remotely involved with the pissfest that was being handed out on station.
Then, the key error occured on Mean's part. Annapolis returned from his instawarp to the station so he could remain in dock range, only to be bumped by Mr. Vodka's Thanatos which was undocking. Shae immediately revved up the MWD on here gigantic Space Whale - Butt Plug thing.

Simultaneously, the cyno was dropped and the Vodka Shark entered the fray, immediately entering Siege and locking up the now off station Archon.

Shae rumbled in and bowled into the side of the Archon, sending it further off station. Annapolis went on to shout 'desync' in local once the bump occurred, something we get quite often with our enemies.

The Archon capped out at 50% armour and rapidly degenerated into hull. With the 20k volleys coming out of the Revelation and the inability for the Archon to switch on its Damge Control, it succumbed to the immense firepower and popped an embarassing distance from dock range.

Grats to all involved once again. A truly epic engagement. Mean had pretty much decided to piss ISK down the sink by bringing out command ship after command ship which certainly did not bother us.

All in all, probably one of the most epic days in Eve despite a podding and 2 Geddon losses. Hopefully there are many more days to come similar to this. I simply do not have time to write about the mid point engagement in Hagilur where we first tested the RR gang, taking no losses and removing several more ships from existence.

Alliance Time...

The Bastards. has been formed in regards to the upcoming alliance tournament in January. Nonetheless, we have the privelage of the Hellcats flying under the same flag now. This can only spell doom for our enemies. Not only do we have more guns, we have angry angry women out for blood.

Nonetheless, with the Cats now prowling around our forums. Our RL faces have nowhere to hide! >.<


Shae Tiann said...

Why do they think that telling us they've desynced will earn them any mercy? They'd show none if the reverse occurred :p

TBH, it was really bad: according to his screencap, he was well on the station while we were seeing him springboarded off the end of the undock ramp.

...Desynced because he was taking pictures? tsk.

Mynxee said...

Well, if I couldn't be there, at least the epicness is recounted in Jed's most entertaining style here!

We are happy to be flying under The Bastards. banner. You're all just adorable. Err...I mean uber-manly and studly. At least...those of you brave enough to post your pictures. And hey...we hafta show OUR RL faces, too. So we're even.

Sarah Barah said...

What is that second picture?? It's neato but I don't know what it is. :S

Jedziah said...

It is the rear end of the greatest ship in Eve. The Armageddon :)

noreply said...

Jed - you have now been tagged...


Yishal said...

A great read during DT and a hearty breakfast. Some of my eggs ended up across the table, but that is to be expected with such elloquent wording.